Dear Destiny Friends,

It is universally said that if one doesn’t stand for anything, they will fall for everything. One of the things that makes us stand out in school, workplace, church, politics, entertainment, social gathering or in public space in general is the standard we set for ourselves.

At the beginning of every year, we make resolutions, but the challenge is keeping to it. It’s easier to set standards, but maintaining it is what makes the difference. The same way it’s easy to get to the top, and difficult staying at the top.  This is the most challenging part because much as it takes sacrifice to get to the top, it takes a higher standard to remain at the top.

Every workplace has a standard, every school has a standard, every congregation has a standard, every organization has a standard, and every social or political group also has a standard. These standards are enshrined in their policy, bye laws and work culture, and if one breaches any of them, they will be subjected to the agreed consequences.

Even as human beings, we all have standards we set for ourselves. While what works for Mr. A might not work for Mr. B, and what Mr. A might accept, Mr. B might not accept. This is why it’s always good to know what works for anyone and know how to follow or work with them.

Our standards can be seen in our values, personalities, ideology and the vision we hold dear. While some people might accept or tolerate lateness at a place of work if one offers a reasonable excuse, another party might have a different opinion based on standard work policy.

While some ladies might detest messing around with the opposite sex for benefits, because they value their body, fear and revere God, and believe in integrity, other ladies might see it as fun or trade by barter. For those in government, while some employees will see nothing wrong in giving kickbacks to get certain favours and opportunities, other employees might have a different feeling because they are schooled to believe that meritocracy pays better than mediocrity.

In the journey of life, we must set the standard for others to follow, be the standard, or better still maintain the high standards already set by others.

As a Christian, the Book of life states in Romans 8:12, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will”. The message is simply stating, as children of God, we are not encouraged to follow the worldly patterns of indulging in worldly things that please the flesh and deprive us of having a good relationship with God.

To do this, we must detach from people and environments that put us in such uncomfortable positions or situations. Setting this standard might not be easy, trust me, it will be very challenging because it will be tested, and may God help you if you don’t pass the test.

Setting standards operates or works in different standards. Imagine a man, who has a six- or eight-cylinder engine, it is expected of them to have a higher gas for their car, but if they use a cheaper gas for their car, it might affect the car. That’s another way of setting standards.

During one of my challenging times, I felt frustrated on how to put gas in my car, I was wondering if I should use 87 as opposed to 89 which is compatible with my car just to save cost, I ended up using 89 regardless of my financial situation. This to me is a standard, because I strongly believe and know the universe will work with me in attracting the right opportunity in due time.

In setting standards, here is my advice: never lower your worth for anyone, unless you are trying to be humble or send a desired and impactful message. If you have a business, don’t lower your standard for anyone just to please them. If for instance, you sell a product or offer a service, please don’t lower your price for prospective clients or customer, even if you are tempted to do so to make sales, make it appear like you are giving them a discount or deal they can’t afford to miss while making them understand you are doing them a favour so they don’t think you are desperate to sell.

This is the psychology of life and business. When human beings feel you are selling a product cheap, their mindset is wired to believe it’s either cheap or something is not adding up well. But when they pay a higher price, or sense they can’t afford the commodity, they tend to respect the product or service.

Alternatively, when people offer you a product you can’t afford, instead of saying the price is too expensive, simply say, I will keep it in mind or I will consider getting it later, or better still, you can request a discount or a form of deal. Recognize the fact that every product has a price tag.

Did you know that standard works with value? It is the value you place on somebody, a product or a service that determines the recognition and respect a person accords it. Let me share a practical and personal example with you. When I published my first book, I was desperate to have the book outside. I wanted every high-profile person with influence to get a copy of the book. As a matter of fact, anybody I see on the road or any relevant event of interest, I always look for an opportunity to give them a copy of my book, especially when I perceive they work in a particular organization, know someone of influence or even have extra cash to spare.

The idea was simply to take a picture with the person just to get publicity. In some situations, I was tempted to sell my book for whatever the person can afford with the mindset that who knows who might see the book in the hands of that person and decide to read it. It worked in some situations, but it backfired in many situations because not many people paid attention to my book. Some just accepted it to make me feel good, while some said they didn’t want to accept it because they might not open it, and they will prefer me to keep it as opposed to wasting it.

What lesson did I learn? I have since realized to stick to who I am, the value in my book as opposed to appearing desperate. I have also learnt to keep my value intact opposed to trying to please supposed benefactors or anyone because those that matter don’t bother and those that bother don’t matter. I also realized that anyone that wants to patronize you will do so with little or no compulsion, especially when you have a thriving business.

Understanding a standard can be relative because it depends on the point one is viewing from.

In conclusion, as you journey forward, endeavour to set your standards so others will know where you stand at any point in time.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com