Dear Destiny Friends,

Every human being experiences one form of pain or another, and in different ways, as the journey of life progresses. The pains of a lady in search of a child is quite different from the pain of a broke man. The pain of a student who failed an examination is quite different from the pain of a divorced man/woman. The pain of an injured person is quite different from the pain of one, who has experienced failure in business. The pain of a politician who failed an election is different from the pain of someone who has lost a loved one. Pain means different things to different people.

In all these, the manner the pains are processed and managed, is what ultimately makes the difference. Speaking from a personal experience, it is worthy of note that every pain has an associated gain if considered critically and wholistically. I have experienced failure at one time or another in my academics, relationship, business and career, but one thing is certain, I learnt a lot from each experience, and it helped to shape me for the next opportunity.

One may be wondering how pain can lead to gain. Yes, every pain has a corresponding lesson for one for learn. Let’s take a case study of a student who has failed an examination. Does it mean the student is a failure? No. I’m of that the student either needs to prepare more or work on areas he didn’t perform well. Again, does it really mean that a man, who performed badly in business is a failure? Again, no! It might be case of negligence, bad decision, not learning the ropes or not paying attention to details. These are situations he can correct if learns from his mistakes, and the previous pain will metamorphose into gain.

Sometimes, we view pain as sorrow, affliction or injury, but that’s not what pain connotes in the real sense. A great mind feels pain, and seeks solution.

Pain can be a blessing if one is able to think out of the box. We all learn from our pains and mistakes. It is imperative for one to run away from anyone who hasn’t experienced failure in life because anyone who has experienced failure has a way of impacting knowledge to others. For instance, imagine someone who has failed in business, marriage, election and examination advising their mentees how to deal with the shame, pain and failure, the lessons will be huge and impactful more than a person, who has no experience.

As a matter of fact, it is said that a wise man learns from his mistakes, but a wiser man learns from other peoples’ mistakes. Mistakes and failures come in different shapes and sizes, and they mean different things to different people. Let’s take a case study of a divorced man or woman, who gets re-married to a partner interested in their vision; will one call that a pain of sorrow? I personally think it’s a pain of gain if they fail fast in the marriage and move on to the next person passionately and interested in supporting the vision.

Let’s take it a little bit further, anyone who has failed in their relationship would have picked up one lesson or the other and if the person goes into another relationship, they will learn from their mistakes, and try not to repeat their previous mistakes.

It’s good to cry when a relationship didn’t work out, especially after investing so much emotions into it, but in the midst of crying, kindly take an inventory into the pros and cons and see if the gains are more than the losses, if that’s the case, you really gained.

In the journey of life, there’s no venture without some level of pain. We all must undergo one form of pain if we must go to the next level of life and this next level entails some kind of sacrifice. Some people will have less sleep to read and research, some will volunteer, others might have to pay for a course or even work on their diet to get a particular body physique.

It’s a fact of life that nothing good comes easy, if you want to have a good physique, one will have to eat healthy and exercise well. Abstaining from fats, junk food, and alcohol are part of the pain we must undergo to gain the kind of body we desire. So, whenever you experience a form of pain, please don’t take it personal because the rain falls on every roof without exception.

Let’s put this into perspective; anyone who wants to be delivered from the pain of a bad tooth must be prepared to go through the agony of tooth the extraction. If one decides to keep the bad tooth, it might decay and affect another tooth.

So, one must be prepared to put in more in their craft or life, to get more out of their craft or life, and this involves investing time and effort for life to offer its bounties to you. This can be done refusing or despising to engage in free lunch or frivolities. Decide today to launch yourself into action by paying today to play later. However, anyone that decides to play now, will unfortunately pay later.

In conclusion, to get the gain that comes with pain, one must intentionally decide to go through the burning furnace which entails doing the needful. Refuse to be in the comfort zone, because nothing great has been done in the comfort zone. All great ideas and actions were executed under unfavorable conditions and atmosphere which came with mixed feelings and reactions, but at the end of the day, ones determination excelled over one’s feeling.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com