Dear Destiny Friends,

There is no doubt everyone experiences different levels of pain and disappointment when things or life don’t go as planned. Many thoughts naturally run through our minds. Depending on the issue on the ground, one might wonder what he did wrong, or what he could have done differently. More questions such as ‘was my request too much, did I act too fast or slow, was my approach bad, was my work untidy, did I under prepare will continually flash through the mind? No doubt, the mind will be busy wondering what caused the failure.

Ordinarily, they are supposed to make us feel frustrated, especially when it is an opportunity we have been praying to have. Imagine having an idol, celebrity or an influential leader who can change your life giving you an opportunity, but for reasons beyond your comprehension or articulation, you couldn’t seize the moment to create a lasting impression, a lost opportunity.

Trust me, I can relate to the feeling having experienced a similar fate on several occasions. There are relationships that I have lost either because I was naïve or couldn’t nurture it well. However, one may try to look at it, life may not always go as planned; one may be planning out his life and God or the universe will be planning something else. Sometimes, what we thought might be good for ourselves, might not really be good for us.

Let me share a practical story; during my formative years in the United States of America, I worked as a security officer for a decent amount of time, while still applying to many other companies. Though I couldn’t secure a decent paying job, I didn’t lose hope either, I kept my hope alive. It is important to state that I was frustrated and felt depressed. I wondered when my life would change for the better. It got to a stage where I felt only a miracle can change the course of my life because people who have less capacity, competency and capability than me were getting opportunities and I began to wonder if I was cursed. Many thoughts were running through my mind. But what gave strength were the words of my Registrar while at New York Law School. According to him, if you lose all options, don’t lose hope.

One thing I did was to maximize my present status as a security officer and used the opportunity to network during the day. I attended events of interest in the morning, afternoon and nights. Sometimes. I will go to work from the event.

In all honesty, I didn’t know the people I met during my formative years while working as a security officer will be instrumental to who I am today, and what I will be doing in the near future. Why do I say this? I know for a fact, assuming I had a decent paying job after my law school program, I doubt if I would have had time to write my first book and as well, attend events and network with the high and mighty in the society.

When I look back, I will say this is a disguised blessing because all these people came in handy to support my work when I published my book.

Furthermore, there was a time I missed a Presidential Lifetime Achievement Award event, an award that could have changed the course of my life. While I was troubled by the incident, a mentor of mine said to me, “don’t grieve for what didn’t happen because what didn’t happen could prevent disaster from happening”. This is so true because sometimes we might not know the people we meet, who can do harm to us in the nearest future which we might not know, so the creator of the universe can cause a scene or situation that will prevent the relationship from going forward.

It can also be a case where one is looking for a job, and the job might be that which will consume the fellow in the nearest future. So, when one gets denied the opportunity of working, instead of crying over spilled milk, consider seeing it as a disguised blessing, which can be a bigger company that might offer you more benefits. It can also be a case of maybe, your destiny helper might be in the company that offers you less pay as opposed to a bigger company that one is aspiring to get, but was denied.

In the journey of life, sometimes one must refuse to capitalize on one’s gain, this is because anyone can do that, but what’s more important is to profit from the loss, because that requires a certain degree of intelligence.

Disguised blessings can come in different forms, for instance while some people are begging because one of their legs is amputated, another person has won Gold at Paralympics because both legs are amputated and thereby receiving global recognition.

Life is about perspective; how you see it is how it will reflect on you. Life itself is a mirror; it depends on the lens you are using to view it. If you believe that life happens to you, you will be the beggar in that situation. But if you know that you happen to life, you will be bigger instead of being a beggar. So, wake up every day and don’t gauge how you feel that day. Instead, tell yourself how you want to feel on any given day. Be the driver of your life, not a passenger.

In conclusion, when you have done what you are supposed to, and life still doesn’t turn out as expected, instead of feeling frustrated, try looking at it from the angle of disguised blessings by learning the inherent lessons the said situation is bringing to your table of life.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com