Greetings Destiny Friends,

Among the many mysteries surrounding life, the greatest of them all is life itself. This is because one cannot completely understand life in its shape or form. According to some schools of thought, understanding life is akin to understanding a woman. You must agree with me that the year 2020 will not be forgotten in a hurry because of the impact of the Coronavirus pandemic. Many people didn’t really see it coming.

 Understandably, many people have already planned how their lives, businesses, marriages, academics, and work will be shaped, but they were humbled by the virus which claimed many lives, businesses and gave the world a ‘new normal’ of living life.

In our contemporary society, perception is everything, especially in this digital era where most people live their lives on social media. One of the ways to understand someone is to look at how they invest their time and money. For instance, you can use social media to decipher someone’s interest due to what they post, and how they engage in conversation. 

However, the reality is that, that might not be their real being; they may be using the platform to advertise or promote their businesses. Again, people only show you what they want you to see.

Perception is how we see about ourselves and our surroundings. Crucially, it is the stories we tell ourselves about life, and that in turn reflects in our own life because perception equals projection. If a child lives in love, he/she learns to love humanity, but if a child lives with hostility, he/she tends to relate with a hostile attitude to the world. According to Henry Thoreau, “The question is not what you look at, but what you see.

There are two types of perception: the way you see yourself and your world and the way others see you and their world. The only perception you have control over is your own.  If you perceive your life as lacking what you need, you worry more about conserving what you have rather than attaining those things you want and need. Our brains automatically process what we worry about and then change our perception.

It is widely stated that appearance is not reality. For instance, while someone might say life is easy if you understand the principles, and do what you must do, another person might say, life is hard because he or she might have done what he/she is supposed to do and might be unfortunate. While someone might say marriage is great, another person might have a contrary opinion, while someone might say, brothers/sisters or even siblings are priceless, another person might say, there are friends who stick closer than brothers.

As we soldier on in 2021, your target should be how to work on your mind. The success of anything on planet earth starts from the mind. As a transformational mindset coach, I train and coach people on how the mind works, especially as it relates to inspiring and empowering them on how they can unleash their God-given potentials. For instance, while many people were affected by the pandemic, some resourceful minds used the pandemic to launch new businesses and networks to engage with people. That’s improvisation which only works if you can think out of the box.

Life is basically how you make your bed.  Alternatively, you can say, life is simply how you cook your food. If you put the right ingredient, steam the meat, fry the rice, and use proper timing to cook your meal, you’ll get the desired output. You can’t have the wrong proportion of ingredients to cook your meal and expect a sumptuous meal.  It’s just like the computer; garbage in, garbage out.

To understand the reality of life, you need to think out of the box. Let’s share some examples of the realities of life. Bad things also happen to good people just like the rain falls on every roof; our educational system does not provide the right or complete tools for success. For example, you might have a Ph.D. MBA, or a degree, that doesn’t mean you’ll succeed or have money; most times we hear the government is here to help you, but the truth is that most times, the government gives programmes and policies that favour its interest.

Most times, we follow the bandwagon or celebrities with the assumption they are always right, but the reality is sometimes the majority can steer us in the wrong direction. We also live in a world where people say, money does not equate to happiness, but the truth is that money is very important in life and it can buy laughter in addition to making the world go around; No great man ever achieved anything great without failing. Anybody that doesn’t fail before achieving greatness has no authentic experience and story to share for people to believe his story or impact.

There can never be a perfect environment no matter how hard we try. Crime and hate will always prevail in our society. That’s the reality of life. Social media can make or mar you depending on how you use it. Human beings by nature are insatiable, you can never please them. According to Bill Cosby “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone”. The false perception of life is that when you show love, people will show you love, but the humble truth is that there’s so much negativity everywhere no matter the love you show.

Having the right perception, understanding, and attitude to life will go a long way to shaping your thoughts towards life. A great way of overcoming the vicissitudes of life is by having the right perception. The simple truth is life is generally hard because nothing good comes easy. Let’s say, for instance, running a business can be hard; searching for a job can be a difficult task; being unemployed can be very challenging; staying in marriage can be hard; being divorced is also hard, and being single is also hard. The moral of the message is that everyone has his/her burden to carry. It’s just how you decide to live your life. Just focus on making your hard easier! Life can get easier, but life can never get easy. 

 The earlier you understand and adjust to this reality, the more fulfilled you will be.  According to Ari Gunzburg, “Tell yourself to change your vision to change your decisions. You need to pay attention to how you perceive anything. Your perception is your reality.”

Therefore, as you work in 2021, approach life in a dynamic manner taking into consideration what works for you and what doesn’t work because your life is shaped with your perception and understanding.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a mindset coach and transformational coach. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of He can be reached via

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Henry Ukazu is a graduate of New York Law School. He is Founder and President at Global Empowerment & Mentoring Initiative. A trained life coach, prolific writer, and passionate youth advocate, he is also a highly sought-after public speaker. He is author of the acclaimed book, “Design Your Destiny- Actualizing Your Birthright to Success.

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