Dear Destiny Friends

One of the best things God has given us is the gift of breath. Imagine we are to buy breath, that would be tragic because many of us won’t be alive. Wealthy people would buy up the breath of poor people and store for generations unborn. It will be safe to say your breath is your life because, without it, you won’t be in existence. In my humble opinion, your breath is the most important part of your being. Just so you understand how important it is, a normal human being can hardly stay alive for more than three minutes without breathing. That’s why athletes are always asked to breathe in and out. This is because their coaches know the effects it has on their bodies. Deep breathing helps you to lower stress in your body because when you breathe deep, it sends a message to your brain to calm down, and ultimately makes you relax. Since the brain is regarded as the compass of the body, it sends messages to the other parts of the body for stability.


Be informed, I’m not a medical practitioner, neither am I a health practitioner of any kind. This article is not centered on health or exercise, but rather on the importance of taking life easy as opposed to being hard on yourself when things don’t add up for you.

It’s always painful to feel bad when you fail an examination, especially after spending countless hours reading and sacrificing other engagements just to prepare for the exam. It is also very painful when you spend hours learning a trade, investing in a business, and building a global brand only for it to crash for reasons you can’t understand. The most painful experience might be a man who has spent a fortune to train a lady in school and empowered her to be financially stable only for her to ditch him for a flimsy excuse at the slightest opportunity. 

Alternatively, as a lady who loved a man with everything in you, you stood by him and supported him wholeheartedly for him to get his act together, and only for him to ditch you for another guy at the slightest provocation. Such is life. There are many reasons to feel bad and used in this journey called life, but I have good news for you; just be glad it happened because you never can tell what would have happened in the nearest future if it didn’t happen. This is the more reason I always pray to fail fast.

You may be wondering what message I’m trying to send? Just hold on for a minute and you’ll understand. Have you ever wondered why you didn’t get a promotion, why you weren’t hired for a job, denied an opportunity of meeting a high-profile person who can change the course of your destiny, or even feel bad if life is not adding up for you? There may be a thousand and one reasons out there. But I have good news for you, take a deep breath.

Again, you may be wondering why I said, take a deep breath, the answer is not far-fetched. Most times as human beings, we don’t take time to take stock of our life and examine why lines are not adding up as expected. Sometimes, we feel the universe is against us. We think there are “physical & spiritual forces” working against our progress. All these thoughts can make us assume there’s a reason why the lines are not falling in place.

Again, take a deep breath.

According to Socrates, an “unexamined life is not worth living”. One of the worst things you can do as a human being is to assume. I have always admonished my friends, when in doubt do not act. That’s why it’s always good to ask questions for clarity.

Taking a deep breath in life allows you to think out of the box and re-strategize on why things are not adding up. Taking a breath allows you to create boundaries by accessing what’s working and what’s not working and what needs to be done. But the biggest gain in taking a breath is making you understand you have done a good job. Once you have done all you are supposed to do in life or any project and the lines don’t add up, please don’t be hard on yourself. There are many lessons for you to learn. Most times, we don’t look at the inherent lessons life is giving to us either because we are “physically or spiritually blind” or we don’t have a grateful heart.

Let’s take a case of a man/woman who wants to get married but it didn’t work out. It will surely be painful after investing time and resources to the person only for it to crash at the end. You may be wondering what happened, why the person acted in a particular way, why the family rejected you, or even why or how a particular incident happened which led to the separation. The funny thing is that you might be feeling the issue was because of you or maybe it wasn’t properly managed, or probably ego was at stake. There may be many reasons out there but again, I say, take a deep breath. Do you know that it’s better to appreciate what didn’t happen because it would have prevented you from what would have happened? That’s food for thought.

One of the best things that can happen to you in life is taking a breath. Many people underscore the importance of taking a deep breath in life. When you take a deep breath, it helps you appreciate yourself by patting yourself. Remember, nobody can console you more than yourself. Nobody can inspire you more than yourself, especially when your force is internal, and nobody can see, feel and experience what you are seeing, feeling, and experiencing more than you can do.

When you go through a tunnel of challenges, it is important to take a deep breath. When you do, you will realize that the feeling is different. In our contemporary society, we have seen numerous examples of people who are validating their life with social media while some people get depressed thinking they are not doing well for themselves or their life is messed up. My dear friend, please calm down, each and every one of us is battling with a secret frustration. Do you know that your life might be much better than that person you are admiring? Do you know if that person has peace of mind? Do you know if that person’s marriage is in shamble? Do you know if the person has an underlying ailment/disease? Do you know if the children are a bunch of disappointment? There are a litany of reasons out there. That’s why is it’s always good to take a deep breath because it’s not always green on the other side of the grass.

In conclusion, I don’t know what your situation is, but don’t allow your peace of mind to be threatened, don’t allow anyone to rent space in your head. You are doing well for yourself. Everyone is on a journey and our paths are different. It might take you 10 years, 20 years, or even 30 years to get to your destination, but the important thing is that you got to your desired destination. So, while you are on your journey take a deep breath along the way, appreciate those who have gone before you, and support those who are coming behind.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a  public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of He can be reached via

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Henry Ukazu is a graduate of New York Law School. He is Founder and President at Global Empowerment & Mentoring Initiative. A trained life coach, prolific writer, and passionate youth advocate, he is also a highly sought-after public speaker. He is author of the acclaimed book, “Design Your Destiny- Actualizing Your Birthright to Success.

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