Greetings Destiny Friends,

Defining oneself is one of the most difficult things to do. As human beings sometimes we find it difficult to express who we are, or what we represent. This is because several things battle for our time, alignment and intention.

As a human being, if you are asked who you are, what will be your response? Some will say I am a lawyer, doctor, entrepreneur, artist, author, teacher, professor, sociologist, leader, engineer and more. The list is endless. But the big question is who you really are. It’s important to note that what you are is God’s gift to you, and what you become is your gift to God.

It’s also worthy of note that as human beings, we do evolve. Growing up as a child, we all have different dreams and aspirations, when we enroll into high schools, and colleges, we have different interests where we align, or what we would like to be associated with. But our outlook and preference for life seems to change when we begin our career path or after a few years working in different fields of life.

If I may ask, what changed our mindset and desires? Well, it can be as a result of variable social, economic, religious or political factors which spur our interest due to policy change or personal interests.

We live in a society where people decide on what they want to do with their lives. While some are intentional, others just live free by taking the day as they come.

However, one thing is certain; something must define a man, and that is what the world will use to judge them. For instance, I have a legal background, but one can hardly know unless one searches me on google or looks through my social media platforms. If one is to judge on what I post on social media platforms or my works, one will confidently say, I am either a Life Coach or Human Capacity Development expert. This is simply because that’s what I post often and speak on. But more importantly, that’s what I want the world to remember me for, as a legacy.

When it comes to defining oneself, it’s imperative for one to be extremely careful because anything can define one either negatively or positively. For instance, if one is a leader, and he is accused of rape, sexual harassment or murder, which are heinous crimes; that, can define one’s leadership. Again, if one joins a particular group, association or organization, that person can be defined based on the doctrine of that group because it shows one’s interest in believing in their ideology.

Furthermore, if one is serious about moving on to the next stage of life, one must be able to define his or her career path by avoiding unnecessary distractions which might not align according to his path at the said point in time. And this can take several shapes. For instance, one can desire to take two to five years depending on their plans to build a profile, business, or academic background, and this will entail being focused.

It’s important to note that it’s either one stands for something, or he stand for nothing. Regardless of where one’s position aligns at any point in time, it’s always good to define his position. Those who find it difficult to define their position at any point in time runs the risk of losing focus

Defining what one wants is very critical in any endeavour. In fact, it is the foundation of any worthwhile project. If someone decides to start a family, they must be intentional on the partner to bring into their life, and this can be done by defining the kind of man or lady the person desires. Before one starts a business, he must define the vision, mission, and nature of the business. Before an employer hires an employee, he must define the kind of person he wants, and their roles. If one wants to work, the person must be strategic in choosing his job description to suit how he wants to be addressed. All these have a simple message; interest and desire.

There’s no doubt, defining one’s position can be difficult, especially when several interests are at play. It’s usually easy to characterize, tag or define someone based on a single act. Ordinarily, this shouldn’t be the case, because a single act is not generally capable of defining anyone. However, if it becomes a pattern, it can then be said that there’s a tendency of committing such acts as a way of life.

Just as many attributes, qualities or characteristics define a person, the combination of reputation, personality and characterization make him stand out. A person’s reputation is what people generally think about, his personality represents him while his character is true nature.

According to Yomi Garnett, a prolific ghost writer and author, “Your reputation is what everyone thinks you are. Your personality is what you seem to be and your character is what you really are”.

Take a moment to ask yourself, and answer these questions. Who am I? What will I want the world to remember me for? What do I represent? These questions are structured to make you think out of the box. Many uninformed minds are being tossed by the wind because they can’t stand for a particular position, and this a sad development. This set of people are usually swayed by material or societal influence. These acts are usually at play in political spaces where loyalty and alignment are usually at play.

Only strong minds can say no opportunities which don’t align to their beliefs, interests and passions to the causes they believe in.

In conclusion, as you forge ahead in life, take a deep breath to determine and define who you are, and work towards it because at the end of the day, if you don’t define yourself, the world will define you. Also remember that if you don’t talk about yourself, people will talk about you as it suits them; if you don’t write about yourself, people will write about you, and if you don’t speak up for yourself, it might be difficult for people to speak up for you.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of CAForrection as the Legal Coordinator.  He’s the founder of Gloemi. He’s a Transformative Human Capacity and Mindset coach. He is also a public speaker, youth advocate, creative writer and author of Design Your Destiny Design Your  and Unleash Your Destiny .  He can be reached via info@gloemi.com