Dear Destiny Friends,

The success and failure of any man can be linked to the power of relationships. You may have heard of the saying, if you are the smartest person in a room, leave the room. Isn’t it true you are addressed the way you dress? That’s simply how a relationship works.

A few years ago, I published an article Your Network Determines Your Network. According to some schools of thought, you’re the average of five people you associate with. You cannot underscore the power of relationships in life. Relationships are advantageous human connections. Relationships are currencies in the bank you can cash out when you need them. It will be difficult for you to succeed in life without a relationship.

Every human being needs a relationship to survive. Whether you are in business, academic environment, religion, family etc, you definitely need a relationship to thrive. Even animals need relationships to survive. Relationships can be likened to the blood and oxygen in the human body.

Relationships can also be likened to oil and gas (fuel) in a car. If as a human being you can’t breathe or have a certain amount of blood in your body, you are likely going to die. The same is applicable to a car without oil, gas, or fuel.

Building a solid relationship is vital to your success in life. You can build relationships through collaboration, partnership, friendship, networking, mentor/mentee relationship, and service. It’s sad to note that most people only build relationships when they need something from you. That shouldn’t be the case. If you know a great and influential person, it’s important for you to cultivate the friendship, nurturing it by knowing what the person wants, and then find a way to support the person.

You can also decide to check on the person once in a while like on special occasions; birthdays, marriage anniversaries, etc. You can also give them gifts, money, or products that they will appreciate. In that way, they’ll have you in mind whenever an opportunity comes up. Don’t get it twisted, don’t do it for gain, no, do it selflessly. It’s just like mentorship, it goes two ways, as opposed to being parasitic, rather than being symbiotic.

Building a relationship is priceless. I cannot overemphasis the value of relationships in business and life in general. According to Robin Sharma, “the business of business is human relationship, but the business of life is human connection”. People will only do business with you if they trust, like, and know you. Your competitors may have the same product, but your relationship with your clients will be the icing on your cake.

As a business person, always seeks to give your clients more than they deserve, let them know you care more them more than the money are paying you.  By so doing, it makes them feel valued. Do you want to attract favor favors in your life? Then you need to understand how a relationship works According to Dr. Bruce Perry, “The most important property of humankind is the capacity to form and maintain relationships. These relationships are absolutely necessary for any of us to survive, learn, work, love, and procreate. Human relationship takes many forms, but the most intense, most pleasurable and most painful are friends, family, and loved ones.

Everything in life will increase as a result of a relationship. According to an African adage, “If you want to go far, go alone, if you want to fast, go with a team” One solid relationship in your life can change your life. Sometimes, we think wealthy people are stingy or not being helpful, but the honest truth is that every influential man has emotions and once they are connected to you, their benevolence, resources, and connection flow to you. It’s important to note that who likes you in life matters, because they can influence recommendations, jobs, and opportunities for you provided you meet the basic requirements. I am a benefactor of relationships.

In building a relationship, you need to know what you want in life. You need to know what the person has and know the price you are willing to pay for it. Also, be ready to tolerate the “excess” of the person provided you know they have what you need.

Sometimes, building relationships can be tough.  Let’s say you’re trying to reach an influential person and all your messages, calls, and reach out don’t get returned, don’t give up. Just know they see it, if it comes up the right way, they will get back to you when it is convenient for them

Proper relationship creates opportunities. For example, when politicians come to a baby’s one-year birthday, they don’t it for fun, they have an interest in the person who invited them. They may have an interest in contract, appointment, or even seeking recognition in the government when the right opportunities become available. You may be the best person for the job, you have even prayed, fasted, and lobbied, but if you are not known, it might be hard for you to get the opportunity.

Tips for Building Relationships that will Help You Succeed

1.    Business Relationship

When you build positive relationships with customers and other people you deal with, they are more likely to become ambassadors for your brand and make personal recommendations to their friends, relatives, and colleagues. This adds a layer of credibility to your marketing efforts that money can’t buy.

2.     Intuitively support others, especially when the need isn’t obvious.

When we lose a loved one, the support that friends provide is often never forgotten. The value of the relationship we feel can’t be overstated. People who build exceptional relationships, however, pay special attention to the lives of others so they can tell when they’re struggling or going through a tough time – even when it isn’t as obvious as losing a loved one. They have a so-called “empathy sensor” on high alert to notice the little things that might be distracting people they care about. When they notice something is up, they show up, step up, and intuitively know what to do to let the other person know they’re not alone. They don’t do this because they want to build better relationships, but because they care.

3.    Be happy when others succeed.

The unhealthy competition we feel when we’re young – for grades, sports, recognition, making the team or club, and for being accepted – can easily slide into adult life. The habit of celebrating the success of others, instead of being jealous that their success is not your own, can be immediately felt by the people experiencing success. Ask a good friend, or just ask yourself: “Who do you think is truly happy for your success?” It’s stunning how quickly an answer will come. You just know. The habit of great relationship builders is to embrace an abundance mentality and to be just as happy for the success of others as if it were your own!

4.    Always Aim to Build Bridges

We all know the popular adage warning us “don’t burn your bridges”. Well, the opposite is also important – building bridges and authentic relationships will help you find success in and out of the workplace.

In conclusion, what’s your number one tip for building strong relationships?

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a self-discovery expert and works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of He can be reached via

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Henry Ukazu is a graduate of New York Law School. He is Founder and President at Global Empowerment & Mentoring Initiative. A trained life coach, prolific writer, and passionate youth advocate, he is also a highly sought-after public speaker. He is author of the acclaimed book, “Design Your Destiny- Actualizing Your Birthright to Success.

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