Dear Destiny friends,

“If you could say in one word what you want more of in life, what would that be?”

As human beings, we have so many demands, needs, dreams, aspirations, goals, ambitions, visions, and desires. All these thoughts are constantly in our minds. However, one of the nutty issues we battle daily as rational beings is the ability to differentiate between our needs and our wants. Sometimes, we concentrate our energy on our wants instead of our needs; don’t get me wrong, focusing your energy on your wants is not a bad idea, but we should be able to balance our life by spending quality time working on what will add value to our life.

It’s instructive to note that the world doesn’t care about your weakness, rather they appreciate your strength. That’s why you ought to major in your strengths and work on your weakness.

If you are asked, what do you want? Depending on the stage and interest you have in life, your answer may vary. As a young lady who is due for marriage, you might say, husband, if married, you might say a child. As a student, married man, businessman, politician, athlete, actor, etc., your answer will definitely be different.  For example, in a relationship, many couples experience challenges that are not limited to money, communication, conflicts, sex, expectations, and personalities in marriage. All these factors play a role in meeting their expectations, especially when conflicts arise.

As a professional you may want to write a book, start a new business, travel abroad, attain a second or third degree in an IVY league school, attain financial freedom, etc. To some other person who is not literally attracted to material things, the desires and wants might be happiness, peace, joy, freedom, fulfillment, etc. To another, their desire might be how to have self-confidence, being able to make decisions and execute as opposed to having a biased mind. The list is literally inexhaustible.

Furthermore, to know what truly matters to you, if you are asked, what is the one thing you will do, and you know you won’t fail, what will be your response?

As a self-discovery coach, I discover that one of the challenges most people have is how to discover their purpose. When you discover your purpose, you will be able to decipher what you want. As a self-discovery coach, I help people to discover their purpose and what’s unique about them by assisting them to make the right choice, turning their failures into their friends for them to unleash their potential.

Almost on a daily basis, I see many people struggling with this question, who am I? It should be noted; self-discovery is one of the hardest things in life. The moment you discover what’s unique about you and your purpose in life, you have answered one of the most difficult questions in life. As a matter of fact, the day you discover yourself, is the day you become a millionaire.

In the journey of life, we’ll continue to discover new things about ourselves, because as human beings, we evolve daily. According to Alvin Toffler, “The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.” We live in a dynamic world, and a great way to survive is by adapting to the new realities.

Just like we have different taste buds, we also have different tastes in life, especially as it relates to the luxuries of life. For example, if you have an interest in cars that speed, you are more likely to get a Mercedes Benz, if you have an interest in a car with durability, you are better off with Toyota and Honda. It should be noted that both of these cars will give you comfort, they will take you to your desired destination, but they have specific functions which attracted you to them. Again, I ask you, what do you want?

The same analogy is applicable to a house. All houses are literally the same, the only difference is the space. If you have one-bedroom, two-bedrooms, three-bedrooms, five-bedrooms apartment, bungalow, duplex, etc., they are all decent houses, the only major difference here is your choice and the space they accumulate, otherwise, they’ll have the basic interiors a house is supposed to have like television, air-condition, chair, refrigerator, etc.  You will even get the same level of comfort.

It’s quite unfortunate some people with poor mindsets think they are living a low life or even suffering because they don’t have larger rooms or space. Please change that mindset; you are not suffering because you are living in a one-bedroom apartment neither are you living a low life because you are driving a particular brand of car. Life is a matter of choice. 

Some wealthy minds drive lower brands of cars while some average people drive luxury cars just to impress people. But the irony of life is that people who literally have money don’t live to impress people, they just live their life and you can see they are very comfortable as opposed to average people who might struggle to live up to expectation. Again, what do you want?

Regardless of what your desires and dreams might be, I want to tell you that they are valid. You just have to tell yourself the honest truth about what works for you, not what others say to you. You know what you want. Your desires, expectations, and interests are unique to you. You don’t literally have to care for other people’s opinion, the best you can do is to give it a thought; if it aligns with your values and interest, then make the necessary adjustment.

The best way to make a decision is to look into your inner heart and ask yourself if you have inner peace, and to know if you have inner peace, you will be fulfilled in your heart.

In conclusion. I charge you today to critically evaluate your interest, values, passion, vision, and most importantly what will be the greatest impact in your life at any point in time, and then decide what you want.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a mindset coach and public speaker. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of He can be reached via

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Henry Ukazu is a graduate of New York Law School. He is Founder and President at Global Empowerment & Mentoring Initiative. A trained life coach, prolific writer, and passionate youth advocate, he is also a highly sought-after public speaker. He is author of the acclaimed book, “Design Your Destiny- Actualizing Your Birthright to Success.

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