Dear Destiny Friends,

Growing up as kids in middle/primary schools, our dreams centered on claiming the first position in class. As an athlete/sportsman, the basic dream is to win the race and take the coveted prize. As a social being going into any relationship, your desire is to go for the best. As an employer scouting for the right candidate for a job, your goal is to hire the best applicant. As a leader, your joy will be not only to select competent people to work with, but also get a good successor. The list is endless.

In the journey of life, everyone deserves the best. No one wants to be cut off. But to get the best life can offer, we have to consciously plan for the best, and make provision for the worst if plans fail to go as planned. In the course of this article, we will be exploring options on how we can get the best out of life.

Due to the vicissitudes of life, it is normal for one to feel he/she is a victim of circumstance. This feeling might make one to give up, especially after investing great time and resources into a failed project.  The truth is that, we all deserve the best, but the reality remains that sometimes in the pursuit of our goals, we don’t give our very best.

Regardless of the challenges and obstacles you may have experienced, I want you know that you are a force to reckon with. If you are human, you must surely face challenges, one way or another. These problems and challenges are programmed to make you strong provided you are willing to learn the inherent lessons in addition to overcoming the challenges. It is generally believed that the bigger the head, the bigger the crown, but the irony of life is that, problems are structured to make one grow. It is the growth process that will make you a more refined person. Once you are refined, the best in you will begin to see the light of the day.

Most situations that come our way appear permanent, prompting one to ask if the unhealthy circumstance will ever go away. Sometimes, due to the topsy-turvy nature of life, people tend to distance themselves from you with the erroneous belief that something isn’t right with you.

My kind thoughts and advice to you is, be you and do you because those that matter don’t care and those that care don’t matter. The people you need in your life are the right people who believe in you and share the same values and vision with you. These are the people that deserve your time and attention.

In determining the best route to take in life, it is imperative you reconsider your vision and mission statement. Your vision and mission statement determines the choice you make in life.  This is because your values are determined by your choice and decision. It is worthy of note that when you make a conscious effort to engage in any act, you are bound by whatever comes with it. For instance, if you have the vision of making the world a better place; where peace and harmony thrives, you must endeavor to marry a spouse who believes in your vision and values. Once you miss that, you are likely going to hit the rock, and bound to live the outcome.

It should be noted that the choice we make has a role to play in our life. Your attitude is a choice, your happiness is a choice, being optimistic and pessimistic is a choice, and life generally is a choice. Your choice normally shows up in your taste and brand of quality you value.

If you have a product of interest you would like to share with resourceful minds, your manner of approach is very critical in the reception you will receive. It is however, normal for some people to reject your product for reasons best known to them. In marketing, it is immaterial what people think about you and your product, your paramount concern should always be how you can improve yourself and your product. According to Wayne Dyer, “What other people think of me is none of my business.”

When you believe in yourself, you’ll have the uncommon courage to thrive. You don’t really need the approval of men. You may have been told, you will amount to nothing due to one or two limitations you have; don’t be deterred, only look at the bigger picture, and have confidence, and you will realize it won’t take time before you overcome.

One of the reasons we don’t get the best out of life is because we allow fear to live in our hearts. It’s high time we kicked out fear from our mind. Fear keeps us from true happiness because it prevents us from taking risks.

In relationships, refuse to settle for less than you deserve. If there is a particular quality you desire in a partner, search and uncover it. According to Bianca Sparacino, “You deserve to find someone who does not ask you to lessen your roar, who is in awe of the magnitude by which your passion burns. You deserve to find someone who will only ever want to add to your fire, someone who will use their own matchstick heart to encourage your passion, to magnify your flame.”

In same vein, if you are a male or female, you must believe in yourself by stooping to conquer. The honest truth is that, when you are fake, you deprive your true friends the opportunity to relate closely with you, and when you are real, you give fake friends the opportunity to run away from you.

Furthermore, true love is supposed to be amazing and a life-changing experience. It is not supposed to be fearful. Love means accepting a person, flaws and all. It’s about fully appreciating a person without trying to change them. It’s about free will. When it comes to love, you shouldn’t settle for anything but the absolute best. You deserve someone who’s going to leave an imprint in your life; someone who’s going to show you that they care about you.  However, what people don’t understand is that, “You can’t force a relationship, and you can’t force love. Any one who genuinely wants to be with you will make an effort to be with you. Moral :You can’t change someone.

You deserve someone who will challenge you and make you think about what you really want out of life. You deserve someone who incorporates you into his/her life. You deserve someone who makes you better by making your dream come true. Brianna Perry, when asked about his advice to intending couples, said, “If you don’t feel lightning in your bones, don’t stay.”

In conclusion, as you journey, I hope you find what you truly deserve. I hope you discover the type of energy and love that you’ve wasted upon others; and finally, I hope you understand that what you demand is never too much.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success. He can be reached via

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Henry Ukazu is a graduate of New York Law School. He is Founder and President at Global Empowerment & Mentoring Initiative. A trained life coach, prolific writer, and passionate youth advocate, he is also a highly sought-after public speaker. He is author of the acclaimed book, “Design Your Destiny- Actualizing Your Birthright to Success.


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