Dear Destiny Friends,

Today, I will address everyone as a friend because we seem to have built a community and tribe by virtue of the engagements I have noticed over time over my articles. Some have reached out to me personally to share opinions and views on a particular subject matter while some others have been constructive on how I can improve my content. This explains why I feel honored to address you as a friend, knowing that it is only a friend who has your interest at heart that will go all out to advise or give you feedback on your work.

You may be wondering what’s behind this article. Well, the answer is not far-fetched. As a human capacity coach, I train High School and College students, entrepreneurs and career professions on the importance of building viable networks via the people they know. One of my biggest strengths is in teaching youths about self-discovery, and how they can attract value to their life when they know themselves.

We all need true friends who will always look out for us and stand for us when we are not around to defend ourselves. It’s quite unfortunate we live in a world where some people are selfish, self-centered, and out rightly wicked. In our contemporary society, we may have been betrayed, maligned, and neglected by “supposed” friends, who we hold dear to our hearts. The interesting thing about disappointment however, is that it can serve as a learning curve and experience.

We all desire that great friend we can relate closely with as a colleague, partner, mentor, relative, or even ‘enemy’. Yes, I said enemy because your enemy will keep you on your toes. The best way to seek a unique friend is to be one. The law of attraction teaches that we attract like kinds. It is just like a king who would like to marry; he will look for a classy lady that fits his position and the same is applicable to a professional lady, who wants to marry; she will look for a man with the same mindset and vision like her.

To understand how friendship works, imagine being a coach to a group of people. You will notice that it’s easier to get your team to do more when you show them you care by words, thoughts, and actions than by telling them to do their work in a sarcastic and condescending tone.

It’s quite easy to be a critic or a cheerleader because a critic sees your weaknesses and attacks your worst self, while a cheerleader sees your strengths and celebrates your best self, but a coach sees your potential and helps you become a better version of yourself.

One of the best things that can happen to anyone is to have real friends, who they can always reach out to when the need arises. Finding that friend can be difficult, but it’s doable. Some of the ways I decide who will be in my space is by looking at the attitude of the person, does he/she practice gratitude? What’s their personality like? Do they have good habits? What’s their mindset like? Do they have an idea of what they want in life? Do they have goals?

A friend is someone with whom you share similar interests, values, beliefs, vision, and worthy goals. A unique friendship is one that is symbiotic as opposed to parasitic. A unique friend is a person who checks on you in season and out of season just to make sure you are okay as opposed to checking on you when they need assistance. A unique friend understands your boundaries and respects you.

It’s worthy of note that your true friend is the person who brings out the best in you. The question now is, how can one find a unique friend? I will share some attributes you should be on the lookout for before you accept anyone into your life.

Care

A true friend cares for you and listens to your concerns without being judgmental. He or she looks out for you regarding what will benefit you. When a friend cares, they show empathy towards you, listens to your desires and needs, and is very supportive of your growth.

Truth worthy

A genuine friend is a person you can confide in without feeling guilty. A true friend is someone who can be brutally honest with you, very loyal, and dependable when you need their assistance. When you have a real friend, you won’t feel threatened to ask them for a favour.

Forgives easily

Real friends don’t hold grudges. A real friend will forgive easily for almost anything if not “everything. One of the hallmarks of a real friendship is the ability to forgive your friend or partner when they wrong you. They will try to understand the reasons you acted the way you did. It might be hard, but it’s one of the prices you must pay for the friendship to grow. Friendship is not always rosy, sometimes, it has its own thorn. It is the thorn and challenges that make the friendship stronger.

In conclusion, take time to examine the people in your life, are they leading you in the direction you will like to go or are they leading you to their destination? As you ponder through the question, just know that you are the one person today, but in five years time, expect a different person from the book you read and the people you meet.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker, youth advocate and creative writer. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of gloemi.com. He can be reached via info@gloemi.com